Family Ties

We don't chose our family. We are stuck with them. We are supposed to love them even if we don't like them. I never felt like I was liked by my family. Damn, half the time I don't even feel loved by them. The day my grandmother died and the day I moved in with my aunt was the day, family had a new meaning . I am the light skin black sheep of the family. I was the scapegoat for every one's anger, pain and aggression. So I vowed to graduate high school and go away to college. And I did. I went through years of mental and verbal abuse from my aunt and too many nights I cried myself to sleep because I wanted to die.

I went back "home" a couple of days ago to pick up my birth certificate from my aunt's house. My younger sister who is 17 still lives with my aunt. My brother who is a couple years younger then me moved out because he could not deal with the drama of my family. By my sister stayed. She dropped out of high school and she does not make any attempts to try to improve it. From an outsiders point of view, it may look as tho she is content with being ignorant. But who wants to stay that about their sister? When I go back to Brooklyn and I look at my sister she makes me feel guilty for leaving her there. My last visit there, my aunt told me that she cut her arm. I tried to talk to my sister and she told me that she hates me and I haven't been caring about her so why should I act like I care now.  What do I say to her? For years I have been trying to talk to her about her life, finishing school and just going down the right path. And all of the conversations ended up with her telling me that she does not care. Am I wrong for trying to better myself by going to college? Am I bad sister? Am I strong because I left my family that was bringing me down? Or am I weak because I could not bring my sister with me?