Shantay has been my best friend for ten years. We have been through alot ...girl fights, boyfriends, loss of innocence, death and graduating high school. She has known me better then alot of people. At one point she knew me better then I have known myself but now she has become one of the people who knows me the least. And I am perfectly fine with that. People change. Its inevitable. We grow and once we stop growing we die. Sometimes on the outside and sometimes we die on the inside. Shantay and I both have grown to become beautiful women but after high school we went our separate ways and that led us not to grow up with each other. She stayed home and commuted to a private college in the city. I chose to go away to school. As time passed we hung out less, phone calls became scarce and conversations became brief and artificial because neither of us knew each other. She tried to hold on to something that I knew that was not there anymore; longer then I held on.
Last year, she revealed some distress to me about our friendship. Telling me that we need to work on our friendship. Then a couple of days a go, I receive a text that says "Hey friend, Its the New Year. I was wondering how do you feel about our friendship because I don't think anything has changed."
It bothered me because 1, she should of called me and 2 we had this conversation a year ago. And I am a person who does not need to speak someone everyday to know that they are there and they are my friend or apart of my surrogate family. Why can't she trust in us and know that no matter what I will be there for her. It is not like our friendship just began to diminish but this has been going for four years. What does she expect me to do? I don't want to cut her off completely because she has been such a good friend to me and we did nothing to hurt each other. But I don't want to force something that is not there either.
Am I cold-hearted?
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