I woke up thinking that life is not fair. Now who wakes up with such thoughts... I DO. Its Sunday afternoon, the beginning of a new week then ending of a whole lot of weekend. I woke up from a dream that seemed like my longest dream ever. Which is weird because I always have wild, vivid dreams. But this one, this one was about my "heart breaker". Lately I have been happier, then I have been in two years. Even when I was with the heart breaker I wasn't truly happy, I had a lot of happy moments with him. He brought me to high that no drug could possibly bring me to, but he also brought me to a low more often then I was high.This dream was filled with feelings of reality surfaced around things that would only happen in a dream. My "heart breaker" was getting married to a female which whom in real life he had some recent relations with. In my dream I was hurt, jealous and still in love with him. All of the feelings you would have been reading....if I would have been writing a month earlier. But why now? When I actually had these unhealthy feeling for my unrequited love there was not a dream but now that I am happy he comes in and fucks everything up. I wake up thinking of him. Being hurt by him all over again. When he is not even a factor in my life anymore.
Now I can't help but to think am I really happy or am I masking what I am really feeling inside. And my subconscious just gave me a rude awakening....
So is this love or is this an addiction?
Ms. Clarkson always has a song that sums up what I am feeling..
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
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